FAQ
Art Trip receives many inquiries regarding art. As the art loving public continues to discover this amazing artist, there has been a tendency for beginner artists and others interested in art to asked questions about how to become an aritst and what art is all about. To address this need, Mr. Trip has added this Q & A section. It is hoped that this will contribute to your further understanding of art and Art.
FAQ
Q: Will art turn me into a hippie?
Art Trip: As there haven’t been any hippies around for at least 30 years, that is not possible. On the other hand, you might find yourself wandering your neighborhood naked, looking like a wigged out paint splattered freak. This might disturb the neighbors as much as the hippies did.
Q: Will I become possessed by demons or serpents if I do art?
Art Trip : Only if you are a member of a fundamentalist religious cult, a zombie or a member of a right-wing political group.
Q: How do I choose an art gallery?
Art Trip: In general, you should look for one with the slickest ads in art magazines. Since they all are going to exploit and rip you off as an artist you might as well go the slickest one to get top dollar as an art whore.
Q: What about the galleries whose website show lots of crazy stuff like molybdomancy, aura balancing, trepanation, crop circle interpretation, alien abductees counseling, snake handling, etc?
Art Trip: Then it is an excellent gallery, although don’t be surprised if the gallery owner asks you to help assist in cleaning the toilets and washing the windows.
"Art Trip is the smartest painter around "
- Louise Nevelson
Q: Will practicing art help prevent the squirrels from stealing the tomatoes from my tomato plants in the back yard?
Art Trip: Hummm, that’s a tough one. Unfortunately the answer is no. Nothing on the face of the earth will prevent the squirrels from stealing your tomatoes. Squirrels will eat every tomato that they lay their eyes on. When the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse approach, the squirrels will be in front of them eating all the tomatoes.
Q : There are so many styles of art, how do I choose one?
Art Trip: Well, it quite easy actually. You could, for example, work in a minimalist style and be surrounded by a bunch of expressionless people with glazed eyes as they hang around looking at your art while waiting listening to your mind numbing theories of art to pump some kind of life into the nothingness that is happening in your art.
On the other hand you could chose something like Stukism where there will be lots of hot and sweaty, half naked bodies who will pose naked for you and will swoon in ecstasy as you paint them in expressionistic orgasmic poses as they loudly moan as you clean the paint from your brushes.
Q : Wow, that description of Stukism really got me, ummmm, excited. Do you think that style will help me attract women?
Art Trip: Well, in all honesty women think men who do art are either weird or gay.
Q : So I guess I am out of luck there?
Art Trip: Now, now, no need to get so negative. That’s only true if you are an unknown artist. However, if you were an art star, then women wouldn’t think you are weird or gay. There will be a great possibility that they will date you because women think being an art star is kind of hot.
Q : Really? How do I become an art star?
Art Trip: Well, you are in luck. All you have to do is sign up for the Art Trip Famous Artist Training Course. This will allow you to become an art star in 2 weeks. This is a bargain at $17,989 for the complete 2 week course.
Q: Oh man, that’s a lot of money Mr. Trip!
Art Trip: Are you going negative on me again? Art Trip hates it when artists go negative on him. Think man, do you have parents whose retirement accounts you can bilk? How about a senile old aunt? Do you have a 401k that you can plunder? How about selling your blood? Don’t let your negative thinking get in the way of getting dates, um, I mean, missing out on becoming a famous artist!
Q : Yeah, you’re right, I can’t wait to sign up. Does this mean that I’ll be able to date hot famous artist babes also.
Art Trip: Unfortunately no. That will only be possible if you are a gallery owner. See Art trip’s special art workshop “How to become a gallery owner and get killer famous artist sex”.