Art Stuff
All the crazy shit happening around the art scene and Art Trip
When Art Trip Met Art Chicken
Art Trip visits the first performance piece by a chicken at the Salon des Indépendants sometime in 1916. "That crazy ass chicken is so da da da da da da" Art Trip is said to remark. Tristan Tzara denied that he heard Trip make that remark before he came up with the name Dada for his art.
Photo of Art Trip at the "Standing with Art Chicken" performance with Tristan Tzara in the foreground
Art Trip's RealArt Colors
Are your paintings dull, lifeless, flat? Do they look fatigued, exhausted, run down? Are your colors sluggish, dry, coarse, itchy or thinning? Is your art sinking into an art fog? Well, you need to switch to Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors.
Say goodbye to blah (red, blue, yellow) and floofy colors (sea foam, lavender, tangerine, etc) that has been dragging your paintings down. Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors will liven up and rejuvenate your art and career.
Fact: 9 out of 10 artists that use Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors end up being chosen for the Whitney Biennial
Fact: 97% of artists that use Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors make money from their art in the first 30 days of use.
Fact: 8 out of 10 artists that use Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors end up on the cover of Art in American Magazine
Fact: 99.9999% of artist that use Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors are befriended by Jerry Saltz on his Facebook page
Added benefits of the use of Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors: Extended use has shown to decrease snoring over time, promoting domestic bliss and an increase in world peace. Also known to shrink hemorrhoids.*
Some of our best selling colors include:
Moldy Mayo
Month-Old Sheets
Piss n Vinegar
Bathtub Ring
Pistol-whipped Peacock
Strip Club Floor
Greasy T-Shirt
Cardiac Arrest
Turkish Tommy-Gun
Hockey Ice after the Fight
Blond
Nicotined Teeth
Shark Infested Waters
Blue with a Hint of Your Mother
Oil Spill
Burnt Oil Spill
Best Color in the Freaking World
Blue Screen of Death
WTF
Some question commonly asked about Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors
1. Is Cardiac Arrest a shade of red?
Yes and Hockey Ice After The Fight is a shade of pink
2. Which Art Trip color is more likely to attract flies or cockroaches?
We found Moldy Mayo is quite helpful for that though Month Old Sheets is known to attract bedbugs if that the effect you are trying to achieve.
3. Do Art Trip colors change or runs after drinking six beers?
All Art Trip colors are guaranteed not to run but will increase in intensity and appear to shimmer after the fourth drink (Note: Cocaine and Peyote have been shown that both Art Trip colors and the artist tend to melt into a waxy pool)
4. Do your paints use a theoretical spectral reflectance curve?
Are you f’in with me?
5. Okay then, can you show me the way to San Jose?
...
Now available in student grade
*As verified by the Institute of Real Art and the non-profit Rectal Realism Institute
Art Trip Gear
Here is your chance to buy our best selling, anti-Art Industrial Complex, no logo, no BS Art Trip t-shirt.
Please Note: Due to the extreme commercial value and social status of Art Trip Art Wear, it is currently only being offered to those people who can claim that they are one of the following:
Art Star (excluding Damien Hirst)
Rap Star
Movie Star
When ordering, please provide a detailed email outlining your Star status, your billing information as well as any of the following that is relevant to your particular Star status:
Art Star (Includes artists, gallerists, curators, critics and collectors):
Artists: Latest tax return showing net worth of $1,000,000 or more
Gallerists: Gallery price list showing you represents artists selling work for $250,000 and up (Special Note: hot, single gallerinas are always welcome to purchase Art Trip Art Wear. Send a photo of yourself and your request to arttrip@live.com for priority processing)
Curators and Art Critics: Those who have wrote positively of Art Trip’s art. Provide copy of magazine article in which you have done so.
Collectors: Proof of purchase of an expensive painting at an auction that got hipster artists or art critics pissed off from the amount of money paid (include blog posting and Facebook pages of any of these whiners).
Rap Star:
A recent album you have completed AND starlet you are currently involved with.
Movie Star:
A recent film you have completed.
Special Note: Tom Cruise is forbidden from purchasing Art Trip Art Wear (He knows why)
Expect a significant amount of time to pass before you receive your Art Trip Art Wear as an in-depth investigation will be conducted to back up your claim of Star status.
Please fill out this additional information:
List 8 compelling reasons why you feel worthy of owning Art Ttrip Art Wear and check the resale cause below:
1. _________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________________
5. _________________________________________________________
6. _________________________________________________________
7. _________________________________________________________
8. _________________________________________________________
I __________________________________will not flip any Art Trip Art Wear or art for a higher price at auction or private exchange. Failure for doing so will bar me from purchasing any Art Trip stuff in the future.
Enclosed the requirements above along with a $1,000 International Money Order (per shirt) to:
Art Trip Productions
Postal Drop 419
Ebola Okei-Dokei Street
Lagos, NIGERIA
Art Reality Show Trailer from the 1950s
In the 1950s, the art pioneer Art Trip, produced the first art reality show. This trailer is all that is left of that effort.